if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
