tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize