he thought i was a dude.
it's great music for shaving your balls
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
