it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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