My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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