i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh god it's open bar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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