sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
