TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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