I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
