I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
