I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
