I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I deserve this hangover.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
