Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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