Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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