My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
