You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize