I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
