By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
