I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
