its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
