Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
