literally had 100 drinks last night.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
