she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
