did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
