IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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