Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
