So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
