im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
