Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
