I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
