Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
