I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We're too hungover to prance.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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