At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
