I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
