youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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