This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im six kinds of drunk right now
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
