Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
