thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
