$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
