You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize