Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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