No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
