Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
