jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize