so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
