Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
