420 ftw
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
being pregnant is like rehab
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
