i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
