Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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