Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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