This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize