it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize