We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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