I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
