Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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