okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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