i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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