So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
