508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
