he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize