Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
